Every step along the way, it's so exhilarating watching the natural unfolding of Mother Nature's circle of life. It starts with that first quizzical glance the old white dude gives his hot Asian girlfriend as he asks himself, "Who is this chick who's willing to date a Keith Richards lookalike just because he's got a little cash?"
Next comes the air of gratitude he sports after he realizes he can share his ideas about gender roles with a woman and she's not going to laugh at him.
After that, there's the mantle of contentment he wears when he realizes he's actually found a partner who won't yell at him when he comes home drunk. That soon gives way to the bulletproof confidence he feels as he realizes he'll never have to do laundry again.
Finally, at a makeshift altar on the white sand beach, the circle closes. As he stands there with tears welling up in his eyes, she stops texting for a minute, shoots the crowd a confused look, and thinks, "Wait, who is this dude again?"
