They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and this shot surely qualifies. Here's First Daughter Jenna Bush Hager hiding her baby bump with a puffy jacket at a Manhattan Whole Foods store.
What words does this picture evoke? First out of the gate is "clueless." She protecting her baby from cold with that ridiculous jacket but clearly unconcerned about afflicting the world with another case of cameltoe. Are there no puffy cumberbunds where she shops?
Next up is "hypocrite." The daughter of a dude who spent eight years weakening consumer protections and selling American wilderness to oil companies is shopping for organic, fair trade food. "Where's this olive oil from?" hubby Henry Hager is wondering. "Greece? Hmm. Is that downwind from where Pappy-In-Law sold Alaska to Exxon/Mobil?"
After that come "rich" and "heterosexual." On the female we see blonde streaks that cost more in upkeep than a 1986 Vanagon. On the male we see a style-less haircut, and godforsaken shoes with no socks. And blue cargo shorts? Were they designed for the dockworker who really, really wanted clothes that made his eyes pop? Clearly the ratty old t-shirt has been chosen to match the shorts, which is the sole concession the heterosexual scion of Republican billionaires makes when he knows the whole world will be watching him.
Coming up toward the rear is "unfit." If these people were exercising, why aren't they sweating? Sure, she's wearing tights and running shoes, but he's wearing shorts that have a special pocket for a stapler. Those are the shoes that got Skechers sued for saying they'll shape your ass while you sleep. And how do you explain his legs? If they were jogging, did she just carry the jacket with her? Clearly their exercise routine includes lots of breaks for Jamba Juice and a limousine.
Last, the word "sensible" surfaces, though just barely. Yes, her life has been paved with gold and Grey Poupon, but in the right side of the photo there's clearly anguish in her eyes as some small semblance of humanity rises in her and she plaintively asks her no-socked hubby, "Really, Henry? Twelve dollars for a tomato?"
