I'm startled by how much stupider America has gotten in a surprisingly short period of time. Just twenty years ago, for instance, we were watching Julia Child cook ambitious French dishes, with the hope of replicating them ourselves. Now we just watch fat white guys eat stuff and tell us what it tastes like.

HGTV is grabbing the Food Network's model and running with it. Think you'll get decorating ideas from Design Star? Think again. If you tuned into the latest season, you're left with a repurposed Amish basket full of honest-to-god tips like these:

• When you're shopping, think about what you want, and then go try to find it.
  

• Want to change the color of a room? There's nothing quite like paint.
  

• Easily add interest to a room by putting something interesting in it.
  

• If you live in an inexpensive house, consider decorating with a youthful theme so no one will know adults live there.
  

• Here's an easy way to get rid of clutter: throw away everything you own.
  

• Want some art to personalize your space? That's easy, provided you re-define the word "art" to mean "photographs of crap you found outside" or "scribbles on a dry-erase board."
  

  And my favorite, from Hillari:
  

• Want to make your entryway look bigger? Open the front door.