By January 1984, tens of thousands of New Yorkers were infected with AIDS. Closeted homosexual mayor Ed Koch, who'd repeatedly ask people "How'm I doin'?" and then tell them to shut up when the response was negative, had spent just $24,500 on AIDS, covering not just medical care but also risk reduction and community education.

In San Francisco, a city one-tenth the size of New York, straight female Diane Feinstein had spent $4.3 million.

Today Koch was buried beneath a tombstone he purchased that reads, "My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish, I am Jewish." Start the countdown until someone adds, "Gay? Who's gay? It's none of your business! That's slander!"